Adoption: Getting the word out!

We found out when we initially met with our caseworker that babies are placed with only a quarter to a third of waiting couples through LDS Family Services each year. Generally, the number of babies placed has decreased every year. This is not an uncommon trend across other private agencies. There are just fewer available babies with abortion and single-parenthood more widely accepted by society than ever before. Even international adoptions have fallen dramatically.

One friend of ours has a sister who is hoping to adopt an infant. He said it's more like she's running a political campaign. That made me laugh but it isn't too far off! Our caseworker told us many of the adoptions lately have been through word of mouth. I've read that private agencies report up to half their placements occur because of this type of connection. 

Last week I ordered pass-along cards (business card size) from Vistaprint with our picture, adoption profile info, blog website, and adoption email address. They should come in the mail this week! We are planning on sending them out with our Christmas cards, passing them along to friends locally, and leaving a few with our doctors and other businesses. Maybe this way, your boss's daughter's roommate can find out about us! 

Ultimately, we believe that the child that is meant to be in our family will end up in our family, just as a biological child would. It could be that this happens because of a conversation, social media, or pass along card. We certainly wouldn't want to miss an opportunity by waiting passively when there is something we can do to help our birth mother find us.

Thank you for reading our blog, "liking" and sharing our Facebook posts, telling others about our hopes to adopt, and your prayers. We are so grateful, amazed, and humbled by the support we've already received. Thank you!!

Beginnings of Our Adoption Journey

Ben and I have now embarked on our adoption journey! We are so excited for what lies ahead - even the bumps - because it only means we are closer to growing our family. The process to get approved for the "waiting list" took us a little by surprise! We found pockets of time in our busy schedules and completed everything and got approved within 2 months of meeting with our case worker at LDS Family Services.

Here's what some of the "paperwork" and required documents entailed:

• Certified original copies of birth certificates
• Certified original copies of marriage license
• Copy of temple sealing certificate
• Employment verification (completed by our employers)
• Doctor visits for Medical Reports
• Home visit and interviews by our case worker
• CPR certification
• Background checks
• FBI fingerprints
• Blueprints of our home
• Copies of up-to-date pet vaccinations 
• 2 hour training with our case worker
• 8 more hours of online adoption training
• 13 pages of typing all about us, our community, families/backgrounds, and parenting philosophies for our home study
• Online profile
• Letter to birth mother
• Photos
• Hobbies/interests
• Information about each member of our immediate families (like physical description, hobbies, occupation, address)
• Child preferences and birth conditions
• Financial profile and latest tax return
• Employment information
• Insurance information and coverage
• 5 reference letters (including one from our bishop)

Phew! I think that's mostly it from what I can recall. Pretty crazy huh? It was actually fun to complete each item because it was just another step closer to getting approved. As of December 2nd, we were officially approved and our profile became live on the site. Yay!

The link to our online profile is at the top of this page on the 2nd tab. You can also access it by clicking here!

Infertility Update

This post is a little on the overdue side. But hey, at least it's up here now!

Here's a recap of my infertility adventures (seriously not an overstatement)...

I did ovulate on my first round of Clomid and we did the IUI (intrauterine insemination) at just the "perfect timing" based on frequent ultrasounds with my reproductive endocrinologist ("infertility specialist"). That one ended in a negative pregnancy test. We were a little disappointed but not discouraged. We hoped it would work the first cycle but weren't exactly shocked that it didn't. We felt good about what we were doing though and would try again the next month!

Next cycle: repeated the same thing. We did the IUI in perfect timing for ovulation. Then 11 days after ovulation the blood pregnancy test said NEGATIVE. For some reason I wasn't surprised but I was sad. Ben and I still felt peace about the path we were on and maintained hope that Heavenly Father had a plan for our family. We knew we needed to continue moving forward with treatments.

Our doctor met with us after our second Clomid/IUI cycle and told us about a surgery (laparoscopy and hysteroscopy) that would allow her to see if there is anything blocking my tubes or any endometriosis. She said she would be able to see more than what the HSG pictures showed us from a few months prior. There was a possibility that she would find something that was preventing me from getting pregnant with the treatment cycles. Ben and I decided we would go for the surgery so I went ahead and scheduled it on June 25th. (P.S. I accidentally scheduled it on our wedding anniversary. Oops.)

I was nervous the day of the surgery but all went well and I walked out of there 2 1/2 hours after I walked in! Woot. I just had an incision at my navel and another on my lower left abdomen. I was out of commission though for a few days and laid on the couch watching lots of Netflix shows and Ellen reruns. Ben worked from home and took good care of me! The doctor said everything looked good. She snipped a very small adhesion but said it most likely wasn't related to me not being able to conceive. (But maybe?)

We met with our doctor again to discuss treatment options. She recommended we move on to Follitism injections. This really made sense to us because I had already tried 6 (unmonitored) cycles of Clomid in 2012 with my ob/gyn; half of which I ovulated. Plus, we tried 2 that didn't work. So why spend more money on something that hasn't worked multiple times? Follitism injections with close monitoring and an IUI has a higher pregnancy rate than Clomid. It also has a higher rate of twins... Hey, two for the price of one! (I'm talking about the cost of the fertility treatments for all you naysayers out there... not the cost of raising them...) We agreed to try the Follitism injections.

So I conquered my greatest fear (okay, one of them) and gave myself a shot. In the stomach! Yes. In fact, I got to do it 21 times so I pretty much became a master. Yes, you read right. 21 times = 21 days in a row. Because of my "baseline" of certain hormones, she started me off on a very, very small dose. If she increased it too much or too quickly, it would overstimulate my ovaries and we would have to cancel the cycle. So SLOW we went. 21 days slow. Sometime during the "teen" days of injections, I had I had 2 beautiful follicles maturing in my left ovary. I was super excited! I mean, if one didn't fertilize then surely the other one would.

When the 2 follicles were mature enough for ovulation, it turned out I was already surging. (That means the LH levels were on the rise getting ready for ovulation.) Normally women undergoing infertility treatments get a trigger shot to induce ovulation because they don't "surge" on their own. The day of my surge (Friday), I ended up doing the trigger shot anyway and got an IUI. I went in the next morning on Saturday and got a second IUI. The ultrasound showed the follicles still about the same size so no ovulation yet. They had me come in on Sunday to see if the follicle sacs had collapsed. I went in and the ultrasound showed they were a LOT bigger. Like crazy big. What in tarnation? I went back AGAIN the following day and they were even bigger than the day before. Holy smokes. This was weird and I could tell my doctor was surprised. (There was a small chance I ovulated and the follicles filled with fluid instead of collapsing after the egg was released. Usually when that happens though the old follicle is no longer perfectly round... so this was very strange.)

We went ahead and scheduled a pregnancy test 11 days later. It was negative. We met with our doctor and she recommended IVF as our next step since I didn't respond well to the injectables at the time of ovulation. She laid everything out on the table for us including details of the procedure, risk involved, my chance of pregnancy, and cost. We were already pretty well aware of most of this information. Months before this meeting, Ben and I discussed we would do IVF if we came to it, even if it mean taking out a loan.

Through this whole journey we have said a lot of prayers. Of course we prayed that we would conceive. We also prayed for reassurance that we were doing the right thing with the fertility treatments. We prayed for our doctor and that she would be inspired.

During that meeting about IVF, I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was just wrong. Really wrong. That sense of peace I felt in the previous months had vanished. I kept this to myself and rushed off to work after our meeting with the doctor. Later on that day I told Ben how I felt and it turned out that Ben felt exactly the same way in that office. He said it took him by surprise as well.

Our perspectives shifted. Why did we feel in November 2011 it was the right time to start trying? Why did we feel so good about the timing of going to an infertility specialist in January? Why have that feeling of peace throughout those cycles only to have them not work? Why was the feeling of peace gone with the mention of IVF by our doctor?

I believe it is all part of Heavenly Father's plan for Ben and me. I don't know the entire purpose in it all but I can draw a few conclusions! It has definitely pulled Ben and I closer together. It has also drawn us both closer to the Lord. I know our prayers were answered about our doctor being inspired. Her decisions with my treatment led us to exactly to where we are right now and we wouldn't have been able to do it without her help. 

Adoption. <3

This is where we are supposed to be right now. I absolutely know that. We are in the paperwork process and excited to put our names out there!

I'm not sure of how or when but our little one will come! I know it more now than I ever have.

Weighing on my mind...

I set up this blog months ago but have been waiting for the "right time" to start. I'll be honest, I thought it would be a cute place to put a pregnancy announcement up or something like that... but I don't have one of those yet. It's all in Heavenly Father's timing anyway. I've learned that I have to be patient and have faith! I thought I could share a little of my experience on this journey and maybe it could help someone else out.

I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). Basically, I rarely ovulate on my own. Just type in "PCOS" into google and you'll find plenty of reading material to keep you occupied for hours! Apparently it's the leading cause of infertility (affecting up to 10% of women) although I've only met one other person with it. I'm not the "typical" PCOS girl. There are many physical side effects women have because of it. Thankfully, my only side effect is not ovulating! 

A couple months ago my OB/Gyn referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist. We met with her exactly 2 weeks ago and started my first treatment cycle (Clomid/IUI) that day! Dr. Nackley and the entire staff are amazing. We've been blessed with so many tender mercies already on this journey. I love the verse in 1 Nephi 1:20: "...the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith..." I also love Elder Bednar's explanation that "the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ" (April 2005 General Conference). 

A good friend suggested I record these tender mercies to remember later so here they are... :)

• First, I naturally started a new cycle several days before my appointment. I thought it was rather odd especially considering this event may happen once or twice a year on its own. Turns out, the day of my appointment was Day 5 of my cycle; the last day to start a clomid cycle. If I had my appointment even one day later it would have been a day too late. Pretty amazing considering my appointment was scheduled a month in advance.
• I took clomid previously so I already knew 100 mg would work (for ovulation) so that's what they gave me!
• The clinic is literally next door to Ben's office building. We had no idea until we pulled up!
• They had to schedule me for an HSG and the latest time slot available was at 2:30PM. It just so happened that we had early dismissal that day at school (the only day the entire school year) so I didn't have to leave early that day to make it to my appointment.
• This past week I did have to leave school a little early but my principal is amazing and had someone cover my class for the last bit of school. I offered to take a half day but she said it wouldn't be necessary. (Hallelujah! So amazing.)
• It got to the point in my cycle where I had to go in on Saturday, Sunday, and today... and then I'll have to go back tomorrow. (Blood work, sonograms, a few IUI's...) All that over the weekend plus spring break this week means I don't have to miss a day of work! 
• Fast Sunday was the first Sunday after we started the treatment cycle. Perfect timing! My family even fasted for us.
• My LH levels are high enough that I do NOT have to give myself the trigger shot for ovulation! I should just do it "on my own." (I was super nervous about giving myself a shot in the stomach!! Eeeek.)
• After our initial consult appointment with Dr. Nackley two weeks ago, Ben and I were filled with so much peace. We knew then we are on the right path towards becoming parents!

I am sure there are more tender mercies we've experienced but those are the ones that come to mind right now. I definitely feel grateful. I know I'm being watched over and Heavenly Father is mindful of me even in the seemingly small things. I'll admit, my mind has definitely wondered about a lot of "what if?" scenarios, but I just remember that sense of peace I feel. I need to put aside my pride and fears and have faith. After all, it is by faith that miracles are brought to pass. "...Without faith among men, God can do no miracle among them" (Ether 12:12). 

I am definitely praying that this cycle will work for us but it is all in the Lord's timing. I just know I'll be a mom one way or another. In the meantime, I might as well find joy in the journey!