Weighing on my mind...

I set up this blog months ago but have been waiting for the "right time" to start. I'll be honest, I thought it would be a cute place to put a pregnancy announcement up or something like that... but I don't have one of those yet. It's all in Heavenly Father's timing anyway. I've learned that I have to be patient and have faith! I thought I could share a little of my experience on this journey and maybe it could help someone else out.

I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). Basically, I rarely ovulate on my own. Just type in "PCOS" into google and you'll find plenty of reading material to keep you occupied for hours! Apparently it's the leading cause of infertility (affecting up to 10% of women) although I've only met one other person with it. I'm not the "typical" PCOS girl. There are many physical side effects women have because of it. Thankfully, my only side effect is not ovulating! 

A couple months ago my OB/Gyn referred me to a reproductive endocrinologist. We met with her exactly 2 weeks ago and started my first treatment cycle (Clomid/IUI) that day! Dr. Nackley and the entire staff are amazing. We've been blessed with so many tender mercies already on this journey. I love the verse in 1 Nephi 1:20: "...the tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith..." I also love Elder Bednar's explanation that "the Lord’s tender mercies are the very personal and individualized blessings, strength, protection, assurances, guidance, loving-kindnesses, consolation, support, and spiritual gifts which we receive from and because of and through the Lord Jesus Christ" (April 2005 General Conference). 

A good friend suggested I record these tender mercies to remember later so here they are... :)

• First, I naturally started a new cycle several days before my appointment. I thought it was rather odd especially considering this event may happen once or twice a year on its own. Turns out, the day of my appointment was Day 5 of my cycle; the last day to start a clomid cycle. If I had my appointment even one day later it would have been a day too late. Pretty amazing considering my appointment was scheduled a month in advance.
• I took clomid previously so I already knew 100 mg would work (for ovulation) so that's what they gave me!
• The clinic is literally next door to Ben's office building. We had no idea until we pulled up!
• They had to schedule me for an HSG and the latest time slot available was at 2:30PM. It just so happened that we had early dismissal that day at school (the only day the entire school year) so I didn't have to leave early that day to make it to my appointment.
• This past week I did have to leave school a little early but my principal is amazing and had someone cover my class for the last bit of school. I offered to take a half day but she said it wouldn't be necessary. (Hallelujah! So amazing.)
• It got to the point in my cycle where I had to go in on Saturday, Sunday, and today... and then I'll have to go back tomorrow. (Blood work, sonograms, a few IUI's...) All that over the weekend plus spring break this week means I don't have to miss a day of work! 
• Fast Sunday was the first Sunday after we started the treatment cycle. Perfect timing! My family even fasted for us.
• My LH levels are high enough that I do NOT have to give myself the trigger shot for ovulation! I should just do it "on my own." (I was super nervous about giving myself a shot in the stomach!! Eeeek.)
• After our initial consult appointment with Dr. Nackley two weeks ago, Ben and I were filled with so much peace. We knew then we are on the right path towards becoming parents!

I am sure there are more tender mercies we've experienced but those are the ones that come to mind right now. I definitely feel grateful. I know I'm being watched over and Heavenly Father is mindful of me even in the seemingly small things. I'll admit, my mind has definitely wondered about a lot of "what if?" scenarios, but I just remember that sense of peace I feel. I need to put aside my pride and fears and have faith. After all, it is by faith that miracles are brought to pass. "...Without faith among men, God can do no miracle among them" (Ether 12:12). 

I am definitely praying that this cycle will work for us but it is all in the Lord's timing. I just know I'll be a mom one way or another. In the meantime, I might as well find joy in the journey!